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How did you lose the weight after taking antidepressants?

I was thin my whole life until I took antidepressants. Because one brand (Paxil) caused me to gain 17 lbs in 2 weeks, the quick weight gain broke the arch in my right foot which may never be healed. I’ve never been able to lose the weight no matte what I do – and I mean no fad diets. I did the diabetic exchange diet, I used B complex which is good for your metabolism and exercised like crazy…… but as soon as I slacked off all the weight came right back (15ilbs was the most I lost). After I had two kids way before the antidepressants, I could lose the weight and eat anything I wanted and never gain an ouce back! Do antidepressants cause long term damage to your metabolism? P LEASE, no snotty answers.

I used to take some antidepressants and I gained about 32 pounds, the doctor changed to Zoloft and I went from 132 to 107. Now they changed to Cynbalta which are pretty good. I have diabetes type 2 and I stopped drinking coke and reducing all candy. If you want to loose weight don’t eat all at once, eat little portion at the time. Eat a lot salad to fill you up. Try to eat more fish, salmon a little portion like the palm of your hand. Drink 8 glasses of water every day. Some antidepressant make you very hungry. If you are taking some that make you hungry tell the doctor to change it. Not all of the of them make you hungry, also talk to the doctor and have an blood test to see about your thyroid gland, they maybe working very slow and that make you to gain weight. I don’t know if antidepressants cause long term damage to your metabolism, but my doctor said when you take antidepressant you flush it out, so I don’t think so, otherwise they would not prescribed, but I think it would be a good idea if you talk to the doctor and change the antidepressant. I hope I help you. God bless you.

One response so far

A really long hilarious story. Star if you like? Pls. ignore if you read this already?

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Annual Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing
along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however,no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung.We will have other
types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table… you didn’t sign your name. I’m
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads "AA Only" you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union
members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
every- thing for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy.
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. However, to the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short
people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot
control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with
high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as
dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"
desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F**king Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarians!! I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f**king salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them
scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk
and die, you hear me?
The **** from HELL!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Katie
1 day ago – 2 days left to answer.
Report It

funny. Been there actually.

5 responses so far

Power of mind vs. Power of Commercials.?

I think if you made a commercial that sold korans as magic books that guaranteed to improve your jump shot and send you to heaven when you die, people would beleive it.

Today, in Iraq I had picked up lunch for a local national that was doing work for us. He was a diabetic so I made his lunch special avoiding sugars, lots of breads, and giving him caffeine free diet soda. After his meal I saw him grab a Gatorade from the cooler to drink.

That’s when I got into an argument with the other American escourts about the power of American media vs. the true value of Gatorade. I argued that it was not good for him or us but we all think it is because of commercials. They disagreed beleiveing it hydrated you with electrolytes.

Even after explaining why this was false they still thought it was good for the guy.

Every living cell has a sodium potassium (electrolytes) ion exchange pump which regulates the water balance inside and outside cells. Water is attracted to particles (electrolytes) and sodium has a different charge than potassium, so as sodium and potassium will naturally balance out due to polarity water will follow and homeostasis occurs. (Hydration – given they have water.)

Thus you do not need gatorade for electrolytes. In fact gatorade has too much "electrolytes" and has a higher osmolar pull thus reducing the amount of water that goes into your body. Not to mention the sugar in it – put in it only to make it sell better. Sugar is a diuretic. (It makes you pee thus making you less hydrated.)

Plus, sweat is hypotonic. Contains less electrolytes than your blood has. Fluid loss is more of a problem usually than electroylte loss in hot days, especially for people who eat regular meals.

The drink was used on Florida Gators and was attributed to their win, but that was a different formula. Once there became a demand for it they pumped it full of sugar and mass marketed it as a sports drink.

Even after explaining all this, the other American soldiers still thought gatorade was good not only for them, but for the diabetic.

So, back to my question. Being that gatorade, like the supposid health benifits of cigarettes of yore, is unhealthy but beleived to be so because of advertising – how able are our minds to resist what society says around us even despite rational clearly laid out arguments against the statements the t.v. (society) holds as true?

Look at the amount of knowledge you can bring to this conversation. So perhaps it is not some intrinsic capacity of mind that is lacking in your fellows or cigarette smokers of yore but knowledge.

Knowledge will give you defenses against what you know something about or will take the time to learn. Some people will not take the time and what can you do about them. But even a knowledgeable person cannot be knowledgeable about everything. But there is another study for the mind that can help.

Classically it was called rhetoric. It is a study of arguments. The ancient Greeks numbered different arguments and made it clear why we shouldn’t listen to them but we so often do. Some of these arguments are:

the argument of the masses: We do or thing something because everyone else does it. You have heard this in commercials all the time…98% of the people when asked…

the argument of authority: we should because he does or says we should. In commercials you see the argument that some great sports figure (or team) drinks gatorade so you should too…

Sometimes I sit and watch commercials and look for the arguments which are also knows as fallacies. You will see appeals to sex, age, exclusivity, and money most frequently. They are "hooks" and also a warning sign not to be hooked and to watch out for what is not said.

Rhetoric is also a study of how things can be said to be convincing. I have heard it said that the original "3 R s" were reading, writing, and rhetoric (not arithmetic.) It was once an important and fundamental study that has been extensively downplayed for over 50 years. It is not surprising that this is also period during which advertising has developed such a hold over people. The advertising today would have been scoffed at by people 100 years ago.

The mind is capable if properly taught and quite susceptible if not.

2 responses so far

Power of our minds vs. Power of Commercials?

I think if you made a commercial that sold korans as magic books that guaranteed to improve your jump shot and send you to heaven when you die, people would beleive it.

Today, in Iraq I had picked up lunch for a local national that was doing work for us. He was a diabetic so I made his lunch special avoiding sugars, lots of breads, and giving him caffeine free diet soda. After his meal I saw him grab a Gatorade from the cooler to drink.

That’s when I got into an argument with the other American escourts about the power of American media vs. the true value of Gatorade. I argued that it was not good for him or us but we all think it is because of commercials. They disagreed beleiveing it hydrated you with electrolytes.

Even after explaining why this was false they still thought it was good for the guy.

Every living cell has a sodium potassium (electrolytes) ion exchange pump which regulates the water balance inside and outside cells. Water is attracted to particles (electrolytes) and sodium has a different charge than potassium, so as sodium and potassium will naturally balance out due to polarity water will follow and homeostasis occurs. (Hydration – given they have water.)

Thus you do not need gatorade for electrolytes. In fact gatorade has too much "electrolytes" and has a higher osmolar pull thus reducing the amount of water that goes into your body. Not to mention the sugar in it – put in it only to make it sell better. Sugar is a diuretic. (It makes you pee thus making you less hydrated.)

Plus, sweat is hypotonic. Contains less electrolytes than your blood has. Fluid loss is more of a problem usually than electroylte loss in hot days, especially for people who eat regular meals.

The drink was used on Florida Gators and was attributed to their win, but that was a different formula. Once there became a demand for it they pumped it full of sugar and mass marketed it as a sports drink.

Even after explaining all this, the other American soldiers still thought gatorade was good not only for them, but for the diabetic.

So, back to my question. Being that gatorade, like the supposid health benifits of cigarettes of yore, is unhealthy but beleived to be so because of advertising – how able are our minds to resist what society says around us even despite rational clearly laid out arguments against the statements the t.v. (society) holds as true?

Look at the average American waddling through the mall and ask yourself if that person is capable of understanding anything beyond the emotional stimulated by advertising. Americans have been thoroughly indoctrinated to believe whatever is on the television. Every generation since your parents were raised by it and have lost the critical thinking skills needed to question not only the advertisements but also the product placement and the news which is bought and paid for to "persuede" public opinion.

Every time I see some family which closer resembles a pack of baby elephants searching for the next source of processed, freeze dried, saturated meat by product to fill the void exploited by the P.R. of Mc Donalds and Burger King or some morbidly obese teenage boy decked out in $300 worth of athletic costuming who gets winded by carrying his 32 oz. 300 calorie "sports" drink from the fridge to the couch, I know one thing for certain, you can sell Americans anything as long as it is advertised.

One response so far

A really long hilarious story. Star if you like? Pls. ignore if you read this already?

The Christmas Party – not far from reality –

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Annual Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing
along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however,no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung.We will have other
types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table… you didn’t sign your name. I’m
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads "AA Only" you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union
members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
every- thing for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy.
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. However, to the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short
people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot
control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with
high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as
dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"
desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F**king Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarians!! I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f**king salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them
scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk
and die, you hear me?
The **** from HELL!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Katie

I LOVE this- star for you and laughs all around for me!

8 responses so far

Zzzzz or Star??

The Christmas Party – not far from reality –

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Annual Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing
along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however,no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung.We will have other
types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table… you didn’t sign your name. I’m
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads "AA Only" you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union
members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
every- thing for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy.
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. However, to the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short
people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot
control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with
high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as
dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"
desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F**king Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarians!! I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f**king salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them
scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk
and die, you hear me?
The **** from HELL!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Katie
Star if you like??
Thanks for the Star!!:):)

ha ha ha it was long but star worthy ^-^

5 responses so far

Poll> Have you arranged your Christmas(OR Non denominational) Function?

If you have the attention span of a dead natt dont read further as this is a bit long

CHRISTMAS PARTY

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 1st November 2005

RE: Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…please feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will

be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

——————————————————————————————————————

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 2nd November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘ Holiday Party’. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Pauline.

—————————————————————————————————————————–

FROM; Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 6th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding a note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table….you didn’t sign your name.

I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody HELP!

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

PS: wtf is "halal" someone explain please?

——————————————————————————————————————————

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy

bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets,

Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food

first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’ desserts.

Nuts!!

NO I can’t guarantee the food will not have been in contact with nuts at any time during its production.

Nuts….NUTS, NUTS

Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline.

——————————————————————————————————————————-

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All F****** Employees

DATE: 8 November 2005

RE: The F******* Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people !!! We’re going to keep this f****** party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death’, as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feelings too; They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them SCREAM.

I’m hearing the scream right

hi mate you should come and see the Rum I am going to have some fun two or three malts and a a great big wedge of Black Bun If I was putting AA on a table here it would get filled up with members of the Automobile Association and there wont be any fairies at my party

Hope you and yours have a nice Christmas

6 responses so far

Who would work in HR at this time of year?

Subject: Christmas Party

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 4th November 2008

RE: Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…please feel free to sing along.

And don’t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.

This gathering is only for employees!

The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 5th November 2008

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party’.

The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline.

FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 6th November 2008

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table…you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!!!How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November 2008

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are!

I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag.

Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low fat food will be available for those on a diet.

We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’ desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?! Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F****** Employees

DATE: 8 November 2008

RE: The ******** Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people !!!

We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death’, as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream.

I’m hearing the scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.

The ***** from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM: John Bishop – Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: 9th November 2008

RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

very funny! that’s about the state of everything everywhere. around here, public christmas trees have to be called holiday trees. a school even went so far as removing the "giving" tree and replacing it with a pole instead. no public nativity scenes, unless you want a lawsuit. it’s ridicules.

7 responses so far

Christmas Party Diversity Style…?

Subject: Christmas Party

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 23, 2007

RE: Christmas Party
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along.

And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 23, 2007

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party.’ The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty

***********************************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 23, 2007

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table .. you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from The dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.

We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first.

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’ desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

************************************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F****** Employees

DATE: November 26, 2007

RE: The F****** Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death,’ as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

*********************************************

FROM: Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: November 26, 2007

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!
*********************************************

WOW, How do you know where I work!
Our Christmas party has been called the end of year party to accomodate everyone. Even though they have changed the name, the same people who like to party are going and to us it’s still the Christmas party.

10 responses so far

God bless the holidays,sorry Pauline?

From: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November 2007
Re: Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.

There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Please feel free to sing along. Don’t be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.

I wish a Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Pauline

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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November 2007
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party’. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.

There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline

************************************************************************************************
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November 2007
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?!

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November 2007

RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.

There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food, so we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics. The restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline

*************************************************************************************************

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F******g Employees
DATE: 8th November 2007
RE: The F******g Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks – I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your f******g salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. Oh yes, I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday. Drink, drive, and die!
The B***ch from H**L!!!

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FROM: John Bishop – Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 9th November 2007
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Forgot to put this on for Christmas

haha shame man

4 responses so far