Diabetic Diet & Blood Gluecose

Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…. feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty
________________________________________
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty
________________________________________
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Patty
________________________________________
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty
________________________________________
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I’ve had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!

________________________________________
Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: October 6, 2009

RE: Patt
Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: October 6, 2009

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan

Pretty funny.
In our office we are not allowed to call it Christmas either.

Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…. feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees!

Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family,

Patty
______________________________________…
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Patty
______________________________________…
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.

REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Patty
______________________________________…
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.

To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.

There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty
______________________________________…
Company Memo

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party

I’ve had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!

The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The B*tch from H*ll!!!

_____________________________________
Company Memo

FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: October 6, 2009

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Joan
lainiebsky,
Yes, I got this several years back and also 3 days ago. I still find it funny. And I think this sort of thing is possible in Vancouver where I live because our population is so diverse and multi-cultural.

That one has been around for a few years now. They just keep changing the date.

Its long but Funny and worth the read.
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 1, 2009
RE: Gala Christmas Party
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols… feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 PM. Exchanges of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees!
Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!
Merry Christmas to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 2, 2009
RE: Gala Holiday Party
In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on, we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians and to those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols will be sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family,
Patty
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: October 3, 2009
RE: Holiday Party
Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this?
Somebody?
And sorry, but forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and the executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy.
REMEMBER: NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
________________________________

Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
To: All Employees
DATE: October 4, 2009
RE: Generic Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet, and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.
Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each group will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, the Grill House asks that no cross-dressing be allowed, apparently because of concerns about confusion in the restrooms. Sorry.
We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.
I am sorry to report that we cannot control the amount of salt used in the food. The Grill House suggests that people with high blood pressure taste a bite first.
There will be fresh "low sugar" fruits as dessert for diabetics, but the restaurant cannot supply "no sugar" desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F*%^ing Employees
DATE: October 5, 2009
RE: The F*%^ing Holiday Party
I’ve had it with you vegetarian pricks!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f*%^ing salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!
The rest of you f*%^ing wierdos can kiss my *ss. I hope you all have a rotten holiday!
Drive drunk and die,
The B*tch from H*ll!!!
________________________________
________________________________
Company Memo
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: October 6, 2009
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party
I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.
In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Part
Holiday party and give everyon that day off with Pay

Read it, frickin’ funny as Hell if you ask me.

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Annual Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing
along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however,no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung.We will have other
types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table… you didn’t sign your name. I’m
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads "AA Only" you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union
members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
every- thing for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy.
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. However, to the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short
people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot
control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with
high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as
dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"
desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F**king Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarians!! I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f**king salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them
scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk
and die, you hear me?
The **** from HELL!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Katie
1 day ago – 2 days left to answer.
Report It

funny. Been there actually.

The Christmas Party – not far from reality –

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Annual Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing
along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however,no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung.We will have other
types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table… you didn’t sign your name. I’m
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads "AA Only" you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union
members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++…
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
every- thing for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy.
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. However, to the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short
people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot
control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with
high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as
dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"
desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F**king Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarians!! I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f**king salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them
scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk
and die, you hear me?
The **** from HELL!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Katie

I LOVE this- star for you and laughs all around for me!

The Christmas Party – not far from reality –

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 1
RE: Annual Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take
place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room
at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Feel free to sing
along. And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!
A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however,no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.
This gathering is only for employees! A special announcement will be made by our CEO at that time! Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 2
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish
employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which
often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our "Holiday Party." The same
policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or
those still celebrating Reconciliation Day. There will be no
Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung.We will have other
types of music for your enjoyment.
Happy now?
Happy Holidays to you and your family.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 3
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous
requesting a non-drinking table… you didn’t sign your name. I’m
happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table
that reads "AA Only" you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gift exchange, no gifts are allowed since the union
members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe
$10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.
Patty
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: December 7
RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins
the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking
during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can
appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate
our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off
on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package
every- thing for you to take it home in a little foil doggy baggy.
Will that work?
Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms. Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men’s table. However, to the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short
people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot
control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with
high blood pressure to taste first. There will be fresh fruits as
dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar"
desserts. Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?
Patty
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F**king Employees
DATE: December 10
RE: The F**king Holiday Party

Vegetarians!! I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this
party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit
quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death," as you so
quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f**king salad bar, including
organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They
scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them
scream right NOW! I hope you all have a rotten holiday! Drive drunk
and die, you hear me?
The **** from HELL!
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
FROM: Joan Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director
DATE: December 14
RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.
Happy Holidays!
Katie
Star if you like??
Thanks for the Star!!:):)

ha ha ha it was long but star worthy ^-^

If you have the attention span of a dead natt dont read further as this is a bit long

CHRISTMAS PARTY

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 1st November 2005

RE: Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…please feel free to sing along. And don’t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will

be lit at 1.00p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

——————————————————————————————————————

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 2nd November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees.

We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘ Holiday Party’. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Pauline.

—————————————————————————————————————————–

FROM; Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 6th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding a note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table….you didn’t sign your name.

I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody HELP!

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap.

NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

PS: wtf is "halal" someone explain please?

——————————————————————————————————————————

FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November 2005

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy

bag. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets,

Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food

first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics; the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’ desserts.

Nuts!!

NO I can’t guarantee the food will not have been in contact with nuts at any time during its production.

Nuts….NUTS, NUTS

Sorry! Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline.

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FROM: Pauline, Human Resources Director

TO: All F****** Employees

DATE: 8 November 2005

RE: The F******* Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people !!! We’re going to keep this f****** party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death’, as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feelings too; They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them SCREAM.

I’m hearing the scream right

hi mate you should come and see the Rum I am going to have some fun two or three malts and a a great big wedge of Black Bun If I was putting AA on a table here it would get filled up with members of the Automobile Association and there wont be any fairies at my party

Hope you and yours have a nice Christmas

Subject: Christmas Party

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 4th November 2008

RE: Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…please feel free to sing along.

And don’t be surprised if the MD shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00p.m.. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over £10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets.

This gathering is only for employees!

The MD will make a special announcement at the Party.

Merry Christmas to you and your Family.

Pauline

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 5th November 2008

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognise that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party’.

The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians. There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment.

Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline.

FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 6th November 2008

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table…you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’, you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!!!How am I supposed to handle this?

Somebody?

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that £10.00 is too much money and Management believe £10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: 7th November 2008

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are!

I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs, perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party – or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag.

Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets, Gays are allowed to sit with each other, Lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table.

Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too.

To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed.

We will have booster seats for short people.

Low fat food will be available for those on a diet.

We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first.

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’ desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?! Pauline.

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F****** Employees

DATE: 8 November 2008

RE: The ******** Holiday Party.

Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people !!!

We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death’, as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes, But you know tomatoes have feeling too, They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream.

I’m hearing the scream right NOW!!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday, drink drive and die.

The ***** from HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

FROM: John Bishop – Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: 9th November 2008

RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.

very funny! that’s about the state of everything everywhere. around here, public christmas trees have to be called holiday trees. a school even went so far as removing the "giving" tree and replacing it with a pole instead. no public nativity scenes, unless you want a lawsuit. it’s ridicules.

Subject: Christmas Party

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 23, 2007

RE: Christmas Party
I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House. There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols…feel free to sing along.

And don’t be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus!

A Christmas tree will be lit at 1:00pm. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! Our CEO will make a special announcement at that time!

Merry Christmas to you and your family.

Patty

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 23, 2007

RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year.
However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party.’ The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians or those still celebrating Reconciliation Day.
There will be no Christmas tree present. No Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family.

Patty

***********************************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All Employees

DATE: November 23, 2007

RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table .. you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, ‘AA Only’; you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore. How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?
Forget about the gifts exchange, no gifts exchange are allowed since the union members feel that $10.00 is too much money and executives believe $10.00 is a little chintzy. NO GIFTS EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

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FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

To: All Employees

RE: Holiday Party

What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20 begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours. There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party- or else package everything for you to take it home in little foil doggy baggy. Will that work?

Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from The dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the restrooms.

Gays are allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with Gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangement for the Gay men’s table.
To the person asking permission to cross dress, no cross-dressing allowed though.

We will have booster seats for short people.
Low-fat food will be available for those on a diet.

We cannot control the salt used in the food we suggest for those people with high blood pressure to taste first.

There will be fresh fruits as dessert for Diabetics, the restaurant cannot supply ‘No Sugar’ desserts. Sorry!
Did I miss anything?!?!?

Patty

************************************************

FROM: Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

TO: All F****** Employees

DATE: November 26, 2007

RE: The F****** Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the ‘grill of death,’ as you so quaintly put it, and you’ll get your f****** salad bar, including organic tomatoes. But you know, tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!

I hope you all have a rotten holiday!

Drive drunk and die,

The Bitch from HELL!!!!!!!!

*********************************************

FROM: Acting Human Resources Director

DATE: November 26, 2007

RE: Patty Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!
*********************************************

WOW, How do you know where I work!
Our Christmas party has been called the end of year party to accomodate everyone. Even though they have changed the name, the same people who like to party are going and to us it’s still the Christmas party.

From: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 4th November 2007
Re: Office Christmas Party

I’m happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd, starting at noon in the private function room at the Grill House.

There will be a cash bar and plenty of drinks! We’ll have a small band playing traditional carols. Please feel free to sing along. Don’t be surprised if the Managing Director shows up dressed as Santa Claus! A Christmas tree will be lit at 1.00 p.m. Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time, however, no gift should be over $10.00 to make the giving of gifts easy for everyone’s pockets. This gathering is only for employees! The Managing Director will make a special announcement at the Party.

I wish a Merry Christmas to you and your family.
Sincerely,
Pauline

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FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 5th November 2007
RE: Holiday Party

In no way was yesterday’s memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Chanukah is an important holiday, which often coincides with Christmas, though unfortunately not this year. However, from now on we’re calling it our ‘Holiday Party’. The same policy applies to any other employees who are not Christians.

There will be no Christmas tree or Christmas carols sung. We will have other types of music for your enjoyment. Happy now?

Happy Holidays to you and your family,

Pauline

************************************************************************************************
FROM; Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 6th November 2007
RE: Holiday Party

Regarding the note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, you didn’t sign your name. I’m happy to accommodate this request, but if I put a sign on a table that reads, "AA Only", you wouldn’t be anonymous anymore!!! How am I supposed to handle this? Somebody?!

Forget about the gift exchange, no gift exchange allowed now since the Union Officials feel that $10.00 is too much money and Management believe $10.00 is a little cheap. NO GIFT EXCHANGE WILL BE ALLOWED.

Pauline.

************************************************************************************************
FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 7th November 2007

RE: Holiday Party
What a diverse group we are! I had no idea that December 20th begins the Muslim holy month of Ramadan, which forbids eating and drinking during daylight hours.

There goes the party! Seriously, we can appreciate how a luncheon at this time of year does not accommodate our Muslim employees’ beliefs. Perhaps the Grill House can hold off on serving your meal until the end of the party or else package everything up for you to take home in a little foil doggy bag. Will that work? Meanwhile, I’ve arranged for members of Weight Watchers to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women will get the table closest to the toilets. Gays are allowed to sit with each other, lesbians do not have to sit with gay men, each will have their own table. Yes, there will be flower arrangements for the gay men’s table too. To the person asking permission to cross dress – no cross dressing allowed. We will have booster seats for short people. Low fat food will be available for those on a diet. We cannot control the salt used in the food, so we suggest those people with high blood pressure taste the food first. There will be fresh fruits as dessert for diabetics. The restaurant cannot supply "No Sugar" desserts. Sorry!

Did I miss anything?!?!?!?!?!

Pauline

*************************************************************************************************

FROM: Pauline Lewis, Human Resources Director
TO: All F******g Employees
DATE: 8th November 2007
RE: The F******g Holiday Party

Vegetarian pricks – I’ve had it with you people!!! We’re going to keep this party at the Grill House whether you like it or not, so you can sit quietly at the table furthest from the "grill of death", as you so quaintly put it, you’ll get your f******g salad bar, including organic tomatoes, but you know tomatoes have feelings too. They scream when you slice them. Oh yes, I’ve heard them scream. I’m hearing them scream right NOW!
I hope you all have a rotten holiday. Drink, drive, and die!
The B***ch from H**L!!!

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FROM: John Bishop – Acting Human Resources Director
TO: All Employees
DATE: 9th November 2007
RE: Pauline Lewis and Holiday Party

I’m sure I speak for all of us in wishing Pauline Lewis a speedy recovery, and I’ll continue to forward your cards to her.

In the meantime, the Management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and instead, give everyone the afternoon of the 23rd December off with full pay.
Forgot to put this on for Christmas

haha shame man